Monday, February 21, 2011

Here Where I Lay


Looking up at the bright blue sky
My vision clears as a tear leaves my eye
Just laying here thinking, 1,000 thoughts in my head
I want to get up, but I stay here instead

My mind feels heavy and so does my chest
You've broken my heart, just like all the rest
I thought you were different but I was so wrong
You set up the games while I played along.

Now I'm so hurt inside
Maybe I'll just choose to die
Maybe I'll slit my wrists right here
I blink again, a silent tear
In my mind I know, I shouldn't cry
But still I do and here I lie
Staring up, wondering where we went wrong
How could you break me, I thought I was strong

My body feels cold now, more clouds float by
My breath has slowed, I don't want to try
I don't want to stop what I've already done
I've just finished your work, you've already won
You've broken my spirit, my heart, my soul
And now I'm dying inside and no one knows.

I did it myself, but I hope they blame you
Don't tell them there was nothing you could do
Don't say I was unhappy, "He's in a better place now."
Cause you did this to me and I know someday, somehow
Someone will do to you what you did to me.

And they'll break your heart, you wait and see
Maybe you'll know why I acted that way
Why I was so upset and cried one day
The reason I yelled and got all upset
The things I knew but inside I kept
After he hurts you and breaks your heart
The pain you feel will be a start
And now there's no way to make you see
You could have saved me.

 You should know that its true
Its all the little things you needed to do
You could have told me how you felt
Tried a little harder to make my heart melt
Or surprised me with something I didn't expect
You should have shown me a little respect
Instead of yelling at me, making me number two
You could have saved me, from what I chose to do
You didn't even care, that you were killing me inside
I couldn't take it anymore and so here I lie.

It hurts now to breathe, every breath its like work
I think to myself, "She's such a jerk,
When everyone blames you for me being dead
You wont get to laugh, but cry instead."
You probably wont, but maybe you will
The sky is darkening, I'm lying so still
My arms and legs are frozen, I can't move at all
A tiny breeze starts blowing, an indication of fall.

My mind wanders to my family, I should have said goodbye
But it wasn't their fault, that today I chose to die
I know it will hurt them a lot to see me go
But I've just got things on my mind that they can never know
I think it's over now, I cannot hear my breath
My heart is not beating, no movement in my chest.

I just hope that you tell them what you did to me
Let them know the kind of girl you are, the way it used to be
Don't leave out the part where I thought you were great
And you said it was just too much, to have upon your plate
So instead of being happy, you said to go to hell
You kissed me , I kissed back, floated and then fell.

Tell them all the reasons, why I'm lying here today
There's no way that I could have done it all alone,
So now it's all over, we don't have to worry anymore
My heart feels so free, it's no longer sore
No you don't scare me, I'm just not afraid
Because I am safe here, right where I lay.



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